My mother once said to me, “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.” She meant that life would take me — and everyone else — on its own journey: one of changes, unpredictable and unexpected transitions and tough decisions. As soon as I understood I was subject to a bigger plan, the happier and calmer my life became.
Ariane de Bonvoisin is the CEO and founder of First30Days, a New York City-based media company focused on guiding people through all types of changes - whether personal, professional, social or global. The company, which launched its website in February 2008, currently features 60 life change subjects, including those relevant to our times such as losing a job, selling a home, starting a business, dealing with depression, smart investing, reducing debt and living frugally.
Last week, the 2010 class of Acumen Fund Fellows had an interesting session with Ariane during which she oriented us to the dynamic of change and the Nine Principles of Change.
I come from the Northwest Province of Pakistan, one of the most conservative, tribal and religious parts of the world, which has passed through its most critical phase of enormous change during the recent internal conflicts that left remarkable footprint on our personal and social lives. For me, it was incredible to analyze the way I coped with that change!
While going through the nine principles, I felt that situations and resulting pressure are mostly common to all. In fact at times, I felt that she was analyzing my own personal experience with change — especially when she deliberated on the very first principle: “People who successfully navigate change have positive beliefs.” Though keeping positive beliefs is pretty much challenging in distress, I believed that I could make it, and there was good in the change to come; this helped me mitigate the substantial stress that I had to experience created by militancy and extremism, severe internal conflicts and displacement of 4 million people.
Believing something good can come out of anything has helped me embrace the most unacceptable and bitter fact of getting displaced and leaving our homes without retaliating, which is not normal in our culture. This has helped me accept switch-over in my career as well. That’s why I am quick to accept her second principle “People who successfully navigate change know that change always brings something positive into their lives,” and her third principle: “People who successfully navigate change know that the quicker they accept the change, the less pain and hardship they will feel.”
“Creating a change support team” is the eighth principle, and the one I liked most - looking for people surrounding us most of the time, trust them and being open to them have been of the tools that helped me manage stress during the change! It is about finding options and getting the best out of one’s immediate environment. It has always given me the strength to be firm in my beliefs and actions during change.
To me, Ariane’s message was:
I believe anyone can change. I believe there is always something good that will come from a change, even if you can’t see it right now. I believe that when we stop resisting the changes we are going through and simply embrace them, we realize that life is on our side. I believe that we all have a part of ourselves that doesn’t change — and, when we find that part within us, whatever change we are going through on the outside becomes easier.
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